160 Unique & Thought-Provoking Questions to Ask Your Ex

After a breakup, talking to your ex can be tough but it can also help you grow and find closure. It’s important to ask the right questions. These should clear up any confusion and help you understand the emotional depth of what you had. By tackling these topics thoughtfully, you can learn a lot about yourself and how you handle relationships. What kind of questions should you consider that help both explain things and help you move on?

Here are a few ideas:

1. What did we each do well in the relationship?
2. Where could we have done better?
3. How have your feelings changed since we broke up?
4. What have you learned about yourself from our relationship?
5. Is there anything unresolved that we should address?

These questions can start honest conversations and lead to meaningful insights. They help both of you understand the past and can make future relationships healthier.

Questions to Ask Your Ex After Breakup

When you talk to your ex after breaking up, choose your questions wisely. You want to clear up any confusion and sort out any loose ends.

Ask about things you both still need to settle, like shared belongings or responsibilities. The goal is to understand each other better and agree on how to part ways peacefully.

• What’s one lesson you learned from our relationship?
• Was there a specific moment you realized we wouldn’t work out?
• If we could go back in time, what’s one thing you would do differently?
• Did you ever feel misunderstood in our relationship?
• Do you think we ever truly brought out the best in each other?
• What’s one thing you think I misunderstood about you?
• What did I do that hurt you the most?
• What’s one thing you wish I had done more often?

• What’s one thing you wish I had done less?
• Do you think we were more in love or more in comfort?
• Was there a part of our relationship you weren’t happy with but never told me?
• Do you think we ignored red flags just to keep things going?
• What’s a memory of us that still makes you smile?
• Was I a good partner to you? Why or why not?
• Did you ever feel like you had to change yourself to be with me?
• What do you think we lacked as a couple?
• What’s something you learned about yourself after we broke up?
• Do you think we gave up too soon or held on for too long?
• What kind of love do you think we had?
• If someone asked about me, what’s the first thing you’d say?

Questions To Ask Yourself Before Getting Back With An Ex

Before you think about getting back with an ex, take a good hard look at why you broke up in the first place. Have those issues been fixed, or can you actually fix them now?

Make sure you’re not just feeling lonely and are mistaking that for real connection. Think about how you’ve both changed since you split. It’s important to be sure you’re making a healthy choice.

• Am I missing them, or am I missing the routine?
• Have we both truly changed, or am I hoping we have?
• Are we getting back together for the right reasons or just because we’re lonely?
• Do I trust them to treat me better this time?
• Have we addressed the problems that caused us to break up in the first place?
• Would I be happier moving forward without them?

• Did we genuinely make each other happy, or did we just get used to each other?
• Will I still want them six months from now, or do I just miss them right now?
• Do they bring out my best self, or did I shrink myself for them?
• Have they taken accountability for their mistakes? Have I taken accountability for mine?
• What am I afraid of if I don’t go back?
• Did they respect my boundaries in the past?
• Do I trust them not to hurt me again?
• Have I truly healed, or am I just looking for a way to avoid the pain?
• If they never reached out, would I still want them back?
• Would my friends and family support this decision?
• Am I emotionally ready for this, or am I just desperate to feel wanted?
• Do I feel safe being vulnerable with them?
• Have they changed, or am I just romanticizing the past?
• If this doesn’t work out again, will I regret giving it another shot?

Questions To Ask Your Ex-Boyfriend Or Girlfriend To Get Closure

When looking for closure with your ex, it’s helpful to ask direct, clear questions about why the relationship didn’t work out.

You might want to know how they feel now and if there’s anything that still bothers them.

Talking openly can help both of you understand what happened and heal emotionally, making it easier to move on.

• When did you start feeling unhappy in our relationship?
• Was there a specific moment that made you want to leave?
• Do you think we truly understood each other?
• What’s one thing you wish I had done differently?
• Was there something I did that hurt you that I never realized?
• What’s one thing about me that you never understood?

• Did you ever feel like I wasn’t there for you emotionally?
• Do you think we were meant to be together, just not forever?
• If we had met at a different time in our lives, do you think it would have worked?
• What’s one thing you loved about our relationship?
• What’s one thing you resented?
• Were there signs that we ignored?
• Do you think we changed each other in a positive or negative way?
• What’s a good memory of us that you’ll always keep?
• Do you think I ever took you for granted?
• Did you ever take me for granted?
• What’s something you learned about love from our relationship?
• What do you hope I take away from this breakup?
• Do you think we could have been better at communicating?
• Do you feel like you’ve moved on?

Keep the fun going— discover hot seat questions!

Questions to Ask Your Ex Before Getting Back Together

If you’re thinking about getting back together with an ex, it’s crucial to talk openly first. Ask what has changed since you both went your separate ways. Find out how they see the past problems and what they think about starting over.

It’s important to know if you both see things the same way, to see if getting back together makes sense.

• What’s changed since we broke up?
• Why do you think we should give this another shot?
• How will we handle disagreements differently this time?
• Have you truly forgiven me for the past?
• Have I truly forgiven you?
• Do you think we’re getting back together because we want to, or because we’re afraid to move on?
• What did you learn from our breakup?

• How have you grown since we were last together?
• What’s something I did that you never told me bothered you?
• What’s something you appreciate about me now that you didn’t before?
• What do we need to work on as a couple?
• How will we make sure we don’t repeat our past mistakes?
• What boundaries do we need to set this time?
• Do you see a long-term future with me?
• Have we truly healed from what broke us apart?
• How will we communicate better than we did before?
• What do we need to do differently this time?
• Are you willing to put in the effort to make this work?
• Do you think we were toxic for each other?
• If we try again and it doesn’t work, will we still be okay?

What are some deep questions to ask your ex?

Talking with your ex about deep topics can be really helpful for both of you. It can clear up any lingering feelings and help you both move on.

You might want to ask things like, ‘What did you learn about yourself while we were together?’ or ‘How do you think we’ve both changed since we split up?’ These questions can help heal old wounds and give you both a better understanding of how you’ve grown.

• Do you believe we were truly in love, or just attached?
• What’s a part of yourself you kept hidden from me?
• Do you think we helped or hurt each other more?
• What’s a regret you have about our relationship?
• What’s something you’ve always wanted to ask me but never did?
• How do you really feel about the way we ended things?
• What’s one thing you learned about yourself from being with me?
• What do you think our biggest mistake was?

• If we were still together, what do you think our life would look like now?
• How do you define love, and do you think we had it?
• Were you ever afraid to lose me?
• Did I ever make you feel unimportant?
• What do you think we misunderstood about each other?
• Were you truly happy with me?
• If we met today as strangers, do you think we’d still fall for each other?
• What part of me do you think I should never change?
• Did we ever bring out the best in each other?
• What’s one thing I don’t know about you?
• Do you ever think about what we could have been?
• Did we let each other go too easily?

How can I make my ex miss me?

If you’re thinking about how to make your ex miss you, start by focusing on yourself. Improve and grow personally. This kind of change tends to catch people’s attention.

You can subtly let your ex know about these improvements through friends or on social media. Try doing things you both loved before. It might bring back good memories.

But remember, it’s important to keep things respectful and healthy for both of you.

• What do you think makes someone unforgettable?
• Can absence really make the heart grow fonder?
• Have you ever realized you missed someone too late?
• What’s something small that reminds you of someone unexpectedly?
• Do you believe people always come back if they truly care?

• What’s the strangest reason you’ve ever missed someone?
• Do you think people miss the person or just the feeling of them?
• Is it possible to miss someone and still not want them back?
• Do you think emotional distance makes someone more attractive?
• What’s more powerful: love or nostalgia?
• How long does it take to realize you miss someone?
• Have you ever tried to make someone miss you? Did it work?
• Do people miss others because of who they were, or who they imagined them to be?
• Do you think people always remember their first love?
• What’s a memory you can never erase, even if you wanted to?
• Can you miss someone you haven’t spoken to in years?
• What’s worse: missing someone who doesn’t miss you, or being missed by someone you don’t care about?
• Do people miss the past or just the version of themselves they were back then?
• If you could relive one day with someone from your past, would you?
• Do you think it’s better to be missed or forgotten?

Challenge your opinions with these bold hot take questions!

Questions You Want to Ask Your Ex After You Meet a Long Time

Meeting up with an ex after a long time can stir up a lot of feelings and questions. It’s simple: you might want to know what they’ve been up to and how they feel about everything that happened between you two.

You could ask about what’s most important to them now, how they look back on your time together, and what they’ve learned since. Talking about these things can clear up a lot, whether you’re looking for closure or thinking about starting over.

• How have you changed in ways you never expected?
• What’s something about you now that I wouldn’t recognize?
• Do you ever look back on our time and feel something different than before?
• What’s the strangest thing that has happened to you since we last talked?
• Have you ever had a moment where you thought of me and laughed?

• What’s one thing you swore you’d never do after we broke up but ended up doing?
• Do you think we’re better people now than we were back then?
• What’s something you learned about love after we parted ways?
• Do you ever listen to a song and think of someone specific?
• What’s a lesson from our past that you still carry with you?
• Is there anything you thought you knew about me back then that you now realize wasn’t true?
• If we met for the first time today, do you think we’d get along?
• What’s something about your life now that would surprise me?
• Do you think some people are meant to reconnect, or is the past best left behind?
• Have you ever had a dream where we were together again?
• What’s a question you’d want to ask me, but don’t know if you should?
• Have you ever tried to explain me to someone else? How did you describe me?
• What’s something about me you never understood, but now you do?
• Do you believe in second chances, or do you think people never truly change?
• If we were to walk away from this conversation and never speak again, would you be okay with that?

Conclusion

In short, talking to your ex after you break up can really help you feel better and move on. It’s good to clear up any confusion, figure out what each person could have done better, and get some closure.

This kind of talk can help you grow as a person and make your next steps a bit easier. When you both are honest and open in these discussions, you’re more likely to sort things out in a useful way.

Your next favorite read is just a click away—dive into Akar Print collection!